Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Things that you can never find when you want them.

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What is it with things disappearing??

Over a short time I have collated a few things that I've noticed lie around in full view when I don't want them.  BUT when I need them...they are nowhere to be seen.

  1. Car keys.  Easily the worst offender.  Never on "the hook" or on the designated "side".  They inevitably turn up in a pair of jeans, the other halfs pockets or inside a household pet.
  2. Change.  You can be damn sure that when you have no pockets you will have hundreds of small coins.  But when you need some change for a train ticket, a Coke or to go for a pee - will you be able to find any?  No chance.
  3. Milk.  We have litres of the cows finest boobie produce in our house.  However, why is it when I want a cup of tea or some cereals all I find is an empty carton??  Where does it go!
  4. Stamps.  Why is it that every drawer, wallet and woman has a little book of stamps?  That is until you need to post a letter.  "Oh I did have one somewhere..." *sigh*
  5. Internet.  This is stretching it a bit.  But have you ever lost your internet connection for an hour?  It's the worst.  Even knowing that you will only have penis enlargement emails to read when you re-connect.  But can you find anything to do in the meantime?
  6. Pens.  They exist to lie around on all surfaces most of the time.  Until you need one.  And then they have all been sucked into some secret, hidden cavern of pens.  This usually occurs when someone on the other end of a phonecall utters the words; "Got a pen?" . . . 
  7. RemotesRemote controls sit idly all year around.  Until one night, when you just want to recline, relax and flick away at the channels.  "Where's the remote?"  "Who's got the remote??" - and if one more person tells me; "I've just had it, but I don't know where it's got to!"
  8. Business CardsThis isn't an obvious one, but stick with me on this.  You accumulate all manner of these through jobs, handymen etc - but when your heating breaks down, can you find his card amongst the piles?  Can you fc#k.  Sure, you can find all of the pizza delivery/taxi company cards in the whole of the country...but anything you need?  Forget it.
  9. ID364 days a year you have some form of identification in your wallet/pocket/car glovebox.  But go about your business for these days unchallenged, knowing that when someone does ask for it, it won't be where you left it.
  10. Pin numberThat number is in the front of your mind 24/7.  You have to physically resist not shouting it out, but you dare not tell a soul of this magical 4 digit combination to your account.  This is until you come to pay for something...what was that number again?
  11. Socks.  Explain this to me.  Socks go into the washing machine as pairs.  Then they come out as odd socks.  Infuriating.
  12. Glasses.  And no, they aren't on my head.  They spend most of their time on your face, slipping from your nose.  Alas, when you need to read something they are nowhere to be found.  And finding them is an issue, because, well, you are blind afterall!Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

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