Saturday, 26 September 2009

Stupid people and their actions.

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Ok, prepare for a rant of astronomical proportions

  1. Who are these idiots who zip files that aren't even that big?  Furthermore, who are these monumental retards who think that zipping into some strange format is acceptable.  I don't care if its open source, stick it up your Ubuntu.
  2. Who was the clown who came up with the frankly genius
    365÷52 Day 1: Clowning Around With My New Niko...

    idea of adding > > > > > to emails as they are forwarded around.  Well done, you clueless nerd, you have successfully not applied any forethought - thus ruining any email that extends itself to more than one reply.  
  3. In a similar context, who falls for the Nigerian scam "you've won the Ugandan National Lottery" emails?  Apart from my mother?
  4. Rolling on from that - if I ever find the utter douche who really pushed "identity theft" into the public eye, he's a
    Identity Thief as Paris

    dead man.  This evil, Hitleresque figure surely had shares in home office shredding.  I'm surprised I haven't been shredded in my household.
  5. The people (I say the word loosely) who walk around with "music" blaring from their mobile phones.  What planet are they on?  None of us want to listen to your heavy bass swamp dwelling music.  And why are they always in a tracksuit?  
  6. Ok, I'm a modern guy, but who in their right mind is interested in watching women's football on the TV?  The standard is utter balls (oh the irony), the women are fugly and they kick the ball all wrong.  It's like watching an episode of Will and Grace for 90 minutes, f*cking unbearable.  Some idiot is in charge of this scheduling, and I guarantee he's got a beard and a dog called Percy.
  7. Which evil son of a bitch came up with ATM's that charge you to withdraw your own money from?  What an utter
    Cash Machine
    cheeky son of a bitch.  However, which yokel from [insert backwater town] presses "Accept Charges" of 15% or more...I mean, come on, engage your brain.
  8. Radio station presenters - just shut up and play some music.  No one tunes in for you or your worthless mind numbing "hilarious" banter - we just want to know where we are going to be sat stuck in traffic and the football scores.  You are as far from celebrity as you can imagine, and you are on the radio for a reason - let me remind you - because you hurt our eyes to look at!
  9. How come the village idiot always manages to get interviewed on television the one time there's a
    Portrait: Village Idiot

    newsworthy story?  I can guarantee that in your town the newscrew will find the inbred family and get their opinion...
  10. Who REALLY cares about what browser they use for the internet?  Ok, other than those of us who are hopeless with women and still wonder if they can be as "popular" as that aging (and annoying) Mac guy (Steve Jobs, that's it).  How on
    The Third Browser War

    earth are we supposed to not spend our lives punching people when all we hear are gaylords saying things like "browser wars".  I'll give you a fistwar.
  11. Meaningless jargon, cut it out.  Right now.  You are confusing all of our dads with your Twatter accounts, Facefuck's and  
  12. Derren Brown, who is impressively increasing his global stock levels of hate and despise.  Good work sir, good work.  Quickly going the way of David Blaine in making us turn off our televisions...
If you needed furher evidence, check out the video of these collective morons:

Some people say I'm angry, others call me biased.  It has even been suggested I rename my blog to "you know what really grinds my gears?"  All I know is that I'm right.
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